Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Things I DON'T NEED To Do Before I Die

With credit to J Louise Larson on Facebook and inspired by Michael Ian Black's list on Twitter.

"Basically, this list is the opposite of the all-inclusive rah-rah Bucket Lists that have been making their rounds of Facebook lately. This here is a list of things you DON'T CARE about doing before you die, instead of things you do want to do."

1. Get a pet, even a baby earthworm or a snail.
2. Build a house from the ground up, while I mentally break down.
3. Dance in the rain and sing about its glory.
4. Wear heels that are taller than my foot is long.
5. Huff and puff (and probably expire) on my way to a six-pack of abs. Pudgy's in.
6. Ski, skate, or do anything slippery.
7. Give up chocolate for Lent, because spring isn't here, or any other harebrained reason.
8. Cram my self into a bathing suit and assault other people's eyes with the view.
9. Ride roller coasters, whether of the amusement park or emotional variety.
10. Read depressing books with no hope, no joy, no second chances.
11. Avoid writing.
12. Avoid writing.
13. Avoid writing.

4 comments:

  1. Great list, Keira! Actually it's quite a relief to think of things I WON'T be doing before I die. Sort of takes the pressure off a bit, doesn't it?

    OK, here's my 13:

    1. Climb Everest (or anything much, actually!)

    2. See a soccer game

    3. Buy a Rap record

    4. Buy a microwave

    5. Sew a dress

    6. Darn a sock

    7. Start wearing high heels again.

    8. Perm my hair

    9. Read Thomas Hardy again

    10. Dance in public

    11. Learn to drive

    12. Run away to the circus

    13. Eat tripe

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  2. #4 You're anti-microwave? I couldn't live without mine.

    #12 Really glad about that, because being in the circus means climbing all kinds of things and balancing in minute spots on moving object.

    #13 Or fruitcake for that matter, right?

    Ditto on #1, #3, #4, and I fervently hope #8.

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  3. Anna, I'm with you on tripe and Thomas Hardy (a.k.a. tripe)! And Keira, I'm with you on the heels (though for me, any heels pretty much are on the list.)

    1. Read Clarissa.
    2. Ever again wear pantyhose or heels.
    3. Stop biting my nails. (It's a less harmful habit for me than smoking, mom!)
    4. Develop a more gourmet palate.

    :-)

    Cara

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  4. Cara, I had a huge laugh over your #4. Is there something like a definitive gourmet palate? Obviously not, and yet, people are so quick to stick their noses into the air over them. Far easier to say to I have no palate than to try to conform to some top-lofty moving target.

    ReplyDelete