I have three change coaches, identified here only by their initials: LS, DGP, LK. They have been instrumental in deep changes in my life by supporting the downs, encouraging the ups, and providing a safety net for when life takes a downward turn. Perhaps even more important than these three is that they demand accountability. My word is my bond. My plan is my bond. No excuses, no whining, no exceptions.
In her workshop on Defeating Self-Defeating Behaviors, author, psychologist, and an extraordinary teacher, Margie Lawson asks the questions, "Why doesn't everyone maintain new behaviors that are good for them? Why do they allow debilitating doubts to derail their goals?" It definitely sounds counter-intuitive, but ingraining a new activity in the fabric of your life as a habit requires repeated doing and a coach to buck you up, to cheer you on, and to make you toe the line. According to Dr. Lawson, "Having a good Change Coach makes [all] the difference between wallowing in mind-muck and following your great map to success."
I knew there were three things that I really wanted in life. Writing, working out, and reducing stress. For years, I'd sratched my head attempting to make my committments to those three things stick.
Every time I made forward progress into the ocean of understanding, only to be flung back harder by the surging tidal forces within and without. For a while then, I would lie bemoaning fate and faith, until the finger pointing to this, that, and the other returned to point to me. Then I would get up and try again, hoping this time I would be able to swim out to freedom.
In December, I read Dr. Lawon's workshop packet over and over to mine it of all the nuances.
January 1 arrived, and suddenly forces within and without were with me. This time, I did not merely hope, I knew. I knew that I was going to be able to break free. This time, I had three change coaches guarding my back and holding the safety net. They would not allow the tides to take me hither and yon.
Nearly three months later, I will tell you that my life has changed in ways I hadn't dreamed of. Without LS, DGP, or LK I wouldn't be where I am now. On the backs of their strength, courage, and compassion rides my current to freedom.
A final word from Dr. Lawson: "No matter what life deals you, your Inner Sunrise can shine."
So, what do you think of the concept of a Change Coach. Is this something that you've already implemented in your life or wish to pursue? In which different ways do you keep your committments?
[Images courtesy of Candice Hern.]