Thursday, October 1, 2009


The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review about 15 years ago. It made the rounds of the intranet at my company then, but fell out of favor. Then today, I ran across it in my archives and had to post it...

Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service."

RS: "Rye. Ruin sorbees. morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"

G : "Uh. I'd like some bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G : "What??"

RS: "Ow July den? pry,boy, pooch?"

G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem crease?"

G : "Crisp will be fine."

RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"

G : "What?"

RS: "San tos. July San tos?"

G : "I don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo one toes??"

G : "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."

RS: "Toes! toes! Qhy djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.

RS: "We bother?"

G : "No, just put the bother on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G : "I mean butter. Just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G : "Sorry?"

RS: "Copy, tea, mill?"

G : "Yes, Coffee please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem,tossy,singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy, rye??"

G : "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tendjewberrymud!"

G : "You're welcome."