Monday, March 9, 2009

Lists of Legends

I sat by the window watching it rain in sheets as my fingers froze and my backside numbed over. I was dutifully dispensing my civic duty by warming the chair in the juror waiting room of the courthouse three towns over for two whole days last week.

Homicide in Hardcover by Kate CarlislePhysical discomfort aside though, this was an excellent reading opportunity. I caught up with my Romance Writers Reports and was thoroughly entertained by this witty, light-suspenseful story by Kate Carlisle, titled Homicide in Hardcover. (Isn't the cover delicious?) If there is anyone, I mean any one person who has not read this yet, please put down your current book and pick this one up. It's that good.

After finishing up my quota of magazines and books that I'd brought with me, I was at loose ends. And then serendipity hit straight on the third eye chakra. The January issue of Real Simple was an issue of lists. New tools to learn to organize and reorganize. My OCD heart was overjoyed.

Real Simple Here's an idea I picked up from the magazine. Even famous people need to get stuff done. Here are the imagined to-do lists of six iconic figures.

Mongol RulerGenghis Khan
–Have right shoulder sewn after a battle.
–Run two horses into the ground.
–Capture Hungary.
–Lacquer moustache.

MicrosoftBill Gates
–Make a billion.
–Romance woman working for me.
–"Borrow" the Mouse from Apple.
–Wear mismatched socks.
–"Borrow" Windows from Apple.
–Build McMansion that fuels gossip for years.

Eric the RedEric the Red
–Have helmet made with two horns.
–Construct longship for long ocean voyage.
–Grow beard to impressive length.
–Set sail.
–Eat maggoty meat and weevil-flavored bread.
–Persevere in believing in the Nordic gods and their proclivities.

Dies Irae from Mozart's RequiemMozart
–Giggle and flirt irrepressibly.
–Write symphony.
–Drink a bottle of wine.
–Shred Salieri's piece by improvising on it continuously on the spot.
–Obsess over father.
–Play for babies. They seem to love it.

Jane Austen
–Scribble furiously.
–Laugh to yourself.
–Scribble some more.
–Scrub ink-stained fingers. Give up.
–Go dancing at the Assembly.
–Ogle backside of young man swimming as God meant him to.

Mikhail BaryshnikovMikhail Baryshnikov
–Secretly learn girly dance as a tween.
–In six years, win gazillion awards and become a professional dancer.
–Wash tights in sink. Hang near stove to dry.
–Defect in twenties.
–At sixty, dance a title role.
–Comment: "It doesn't matter how high you lift your leg."


Anna Campbell said...

Ha ha! Love Jane Austen's! There was a saucy wench hiding under that unprepossessing exterior!

Hey, isn't it cool that the Romance Bandits is now home to New York Times bestseller Kate Carlisle? I'm rather chuffed at the company I'm keeping these days ;-)

Amanda McCabe said...

LOL, Keira! I want JA's day, too...

And am going to pick up "Homicide in Hardcover" right now

J. Louise Larson said...

Delightful. Lacquer moustache! Very fun.

Keira Soleore said...

That humor had to have had a risqué side to it. There's so much of it bubbling out of the page, and you know she was trying to repress it in order to write for her times.

The Banditas are getting more and more famous...all those awards, NYT list, RITA noms...

I'm rather chuffed to be a Buddy to such famous people. Wonder what your to-do list looks like for today.

Keira Soleore said...

Amanda, hm, I wonder what part of JA's list would you prefer?!

Kate's book is totally fun (and I want to eat that cover).

Keira Soleore said...

Louise, welcome! Thanks for stopping by. With those points, Ghenghis rather puts Poirot's moustaches to shame.

Anna Campbell said...

Actually, K, I'm delighted to say that all I have on my to-do list today is writing a few more pages. I've actually had a pretty good run for a few days and I'm finally getting my teeth into this new story. Phew!

Keira Soleore said...

Hooray for you!! And hooray for me! :)

Kate Carlisle said...

Keira, you're such a cutie!!! I just got back to town and back to my computer (I hate being away from my people!) and saw your delightful mention of my book! Thank you so much!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :-)

I don't know what made me giggle more -- Genghis Khan's reminder to self to pillage, or Bill Gate's compulsion to steal everything! LOL

Keira Soleore said...

Kate, I'm always glad to pimp, er, tout friends' books especially when I love them.