Lists of Legends

I sat by the window watching it rain in sheets as my fingers froze and my backside numbed over. I was dutifully dispensing my civic duty by warming the chair in the juror waiting room of the courthouse three towns over for two whole days last week.

Physical discomfort aside though, this was an excellent reading opportunity. I caught up with my Romance Writers Reports and was thoroughly entertained by this witty, light-suspenseful story by Kate Carlisle, titled Homicide in Hardcover. (Isn't the cover delicious?) If there is anyone, I mean any one person who has not read this yet, please put down your current book and pick this one up. It's that good.

After finishing up my quota of magazines and books that I'd brought with me, I was at loose ends. And then serendipity hit straight on the third eye chakra. The January issue of Real Simple was an issue of lists. New tools to learn to organize and reorganize. My OCD heart was overjoyed.

Here's an idea I picked up from the magazine. Even famous people need to get stuff done. Here are the imagined to-do lists of six iconic figures.

Genghis Khan
–Pillage.
–Have right shoulder sewn after a battle.
–Plunder.
–Run two horses into the ground.
–Capture Hungary.
–Lacquer moustache.

Bill Gates
–Make a billion.
–Romance woman working for me.
–"Borrow" the Mouse from Apple.
–Wear mismatched socks.
–"Borrow" Windows from Apple.
–Build McMansion that fuels gossip for years.

Eric the Red
–Have helmet made with two horns.
–Construct longship for long ocean voyage.
–Grow beard to impressive length.
–Set sail.
–Eat maggoty meat and weevil-flavored bread.
–Persevere in believing in the Nordic gods and their proclivities.

Mozart
–Giggle and flirt irrepressibly.
–Write symphony.
–Drink a bottle of wine.
–Shred Salieri's piece by improvising on it continuously on the spot.
–Obsess over father.
–Play for babies. They seem to love it.

Jane Austen
–Scribble furiously.
–Laugh to yourself.
–Scribble some more.
–Scrub ink-stained fingers. Give up.
–Go dancing at the Assembly.
–Ogle backside of young man swimming as God meant him to.

Mikhail Baryshnikov
–Secretly learn girly dance as a tween.
–In six years, win gazillion awards and become a professional dancer.
–Wash tights in sink. Hang near stove to dry.
–Defect in twenties.
–At sixty, dance a title role.
–Comment: "It doesn't matter how high you lift your leg."